If you're alive and not asexual, you'll probably be involved in a breakup eventually. Truth is, they're almost always terrible experiences filled with excessive amounts of pain. They suck. Yet, the cliche remains true: there are plenty of fish in the sea. If you're going through a breakup right now or are interested in simply how to keep on keeping on after an especially rough one, read on.
1. Take time to feel your emotions. Everyone handles emotion differently. Typically, a breakup is a really good way to figure out just how emotional of a person you are. A lot of different emotions will be flying around during and after a relationship ends and it is imperative that you understand and take the time to truly feel whatever it is that you're supposed to be feeling, which leads us to our second instruction.
2. Vent your emotions, healthily. Whether you are a writer, reader, talker, musician, dancer, athlete, etc., all of these things are healthy ways to handle emotion. Personally, I write, sing, play piano, uke, guitar, drums, whatever is closest to me (it helps that I play several instruments, #softflex). Take up a new hobby, take a boxing class, beat the ever-loving shit out of something (inanimate). Just feel and let that feeling escape you. It helps, seriously.
3. Listen to really sad music. I don't have any idea what causes it, but there's probably some deeper psychological meaning behind the fact that sad music just makes the heart able to feel and begin to repair itself. To suggest a couple stellar albums that have helped me immensely during breakups: Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie and For Emma, Forever Ago by Bon Iver. Both albums are devastating in both beauty and sadness and will rip your insides out from start to finish. But don't worry though, that's what you're hoping to achieve.
4. DO NOT, under any circumstance, defame the other person's character. Remember, even if they were the shittiest person you've ever dated and did nothing but tear YOU down, you're the one who dated them. At one point, you cared enough about them to notice the character flaws about them, small or large. In the end, tearing the other person down makes you look like the shittier person. It's better to move along as the seemingly uncaring person because that will hurt their pride much more than ceaselessly bashing their existence. This is how to handle a breakup with class, after all, and not how to be that jackass who is caught up on saying things about their ex.
5. If that person begins talking to another person, don't bash them either. You don't have to be happy for the other person, because let's face it, that would be moronic. No one is happy to see their ex being with someone else, especially if you're the one who got dumped. Nevertheless, bashing the new guy/girl openly won't do much else but make you seem bitter. Notice my use of the word openly, as I meant to place it there. Behind closed doors, with friends, in private conversations, go bat shit crazy. To be honest, it releases a lot of negative energy and just feels good. If what you say about new guy/girl is correct, your ex is going to realize that sooner or later and that will be much more satisfying without looking like the bitter asshole.
6. Be honest with yourself when asking whether or not a friendship after a dating relationship is a good idea. Sometimes people are just better off as friends and that's totally cool. Other times, that just isn't the case at all. Inevitably, that decision is up to you and you alone and I have no advice as far as that goes.
7. Make a list of what you have to offer. Whether mentally noting things or physically writing them with pen and paper, this step is important. It is especially important if you were the one being broken up with. The ego boost feels good and positive energy is necessary. Keep focus on the fact that you are a good person, unless you're just not. But odds are you're not that bad of a person, so make a list of things you like about yourself and think of it as a statement of what the other person is losing. If you believe you're a catch, odds are that someone else will too.
These instructions aren't in any specific order. Some of them are super cheesy and lame, but trust me they all help. Breakups suck, but it's a lot easier when you keep moving forward and don't let yourself mope or feel too sorry. After all, experience is the most important part of life.
P.s. I'll be posting another personal piece I wrote a few months back fairly soon after this gets posted. I love all the positive feedback. You guys are great.
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