Spread the Word to End the Word Campaign

As a disclaimer, I'll just get this out of the way: this post may be perceived as offensive if the reader does not understand entirely my opinion and view on the Spread the Word Campaign. Do your best to understand where I am coming from.

I'd like to preface this post by first saying that I, in no way, think that those with special needs are to be seen as less than others. I feel that they should most definitely be treated with respect, along with everyone else. I have profound respect and admiration for those that work with special needs students and adults as well. I, myself, considered doing this in Gahanna's MD class during my study hall this year. After much deliberation, I decided I was not cut out for the job and the responsibility and patience it entails. These people, both those with special needs, their families, and their aides have my utmost respect and they truly are amazing people. Having been raised to always stand up for anyone being picked on or bullied and to always root for the underdog, I must also say that I am and always will be the first to help someone in a bullying situation. That is who I am, yet I just do not think that I have the immense amount of patience and compassion necessary for work with the special needs and those with disabilities. Again, I will reiterate: these people have a very special place in my heart and I will always hold them with much respect.

However, the Spread the Word to End the Word Campaign is something that infuriates me to my very core. Today was a very difficult day for me to make through, as the halls were cluttered with people donning the shirts saying, "Don't Dis My Ability." Of course, this slogan is well-intended as is the entire campaign. The problem that I saw simply was that it is doing nothing more than labeling these students for exactly what they are trying to deflect attention from. "Dis" and "ability" were the same size, color, and font on these shirts, making the reader first notice that a special needs child was wearing a shirt that very clearly spelled out, "disability." This not only draws attention to the disabled child, but draws attention specifically to their disability itself. It's as if every gay person, for example, one day were to wear a shirt that creatively spells out "fag" or "queer". Pardon my possible insensitivity here, but what does that slogan accomplish other than highlighting the very subject that they are wishing to suppress?

Another very popular and important part of this campaign are the very moving and powerful PSAs of all of our wonderful MD students explaining how it feels to be called "retarded". This of course is a massive tearjerker and would cause almost any person to stop and think about the things they say every day. Great. Again, there is nothing wrong with asking for a bit more (well deserved) respect. Although, it was brought to my attention by a very close friend of mine, whose sister has special needs, that those "tearjerkers" are not always what they seem. Many of the special needs students do not have the cognitive ability to understand what that word means as an insult unless they are explained very carefully. The students in those videos were spoon-fed moving phrases and were, in a sense, pressured into being offended. This got me thinking to say the least. How scared were those kids when they were taken into an unfamiliar situation and asked how unfamiliar words and phrases made them feel? How many tears in these videos are actually from being hurt by the word?

My third issue is a very simple one and has been a focus of many debates outside of the special needs world. The campaign is a war on a word. Granted, this word carries much social stigma and possibly hurtful feelings, but nevertheless is simply a word. The war to quell free speech is an age-old and hard fought battle. How effective can a campaign against a word actually be? Will it stop at a teacher asking a student to watch what they say? Or in other cases will it end in suspension? One student this week tweets, "Who tells the retarded kids that they're retarded?" I will not support this statement at all, and frankly I think it's pretty insensitive and very untactful in its phrasing. Yet, this student was suspended. A war on a word has gone outside the classroom, into the realm of social media, and, like many other things, has resulted in a "zero tolerance policy." Let me pose the question: what sense does a zero tolerance policy make in an effort to promote tolerance? It's illogical at best, however that is an issue less with the campaign itself and more with the education system (a system with many other obvious flaws).

The many good intents of this campaign are sadly strongly outweighed by the lack of tact and compassion that it so blatantly and excruciatingly portrays nationally, in the form of terrible slogans, etc. On a local standpoint, Gahanna could not be more generally supportive of our special needs programs and that in itself is beautiful and moving. I think that we all genuinely care about these kids, and I've only had to stand up to a few people in my four years at the high school. I am proud to admit that we are a very good school when it comes to doing the right thing and loving our neighbor, regardless of sexual preference, skin color, religion, or level of physical or mental ability. To my fellow GLHS students, I say nothing more than to keep up the good work.

In saying that, I think that we, as a school, need to take a hard look at the campaigns that we support and how exactly we support them. I have always supported this campaign, admittedly blindly, because I thought that it was doing great things in our school and community. I now realize that it is not quite how it seems. I have a shirt from every year of this campaign since freshman year, and I have worn them with pride. However, I will not be buying a shirt this year for obvious reasons.

As far as the intentions of this campaign are concerned, one thing is for sure: respect is deserved and should be shown by all people. Campaigning against a word will not make anyone more respectful than they already are, and that is very sad. Yet, I have faith that our school and the many students like myself who have respect for themselves and others will be willing to stand up and help our fellow classmates. We do, undoubtedly, need to respect these very strong individuals, as well as their families and those amazing people in the MD classrooms every day. I simply do not think that the Spread the Word to End the Word campaign does an adequate job of that.

I hope that my opinion goes over well, as I do not mean any disrespect or malicious intent. Thank you for reading. 

Something I wrote a few months ago

Time now pales in comparison

When once the blue of your veins

and small shadows of your body

were cast across my face. 

As we lay close, discovering only

that our bodies were molded more similarly

than we had once believed.

It was you who had shown me

what it meant to be everything but free.

Simple Instructions to Handling a Breakup with Class

If you're alive and not asexual, you'll probably be involved in a breakup eventually. Truth is, they're almost always terrible experiences filled with excessive amounts of pain. They suck. Yet, the cliche remains true: there are plenty of fish in the sea. If you're going through a breakup right now or are interested in simply how to keep on keeping on after an especially rough one, read on.

1. Take time to feel your emotions. Everyone handles emotion differently. Typically, a breakup is a really good way to figure out just how emotional of a person you are. A lot of different emotions will be flying around during and after a relationship ends and it is imperative that you understand and take the time to truly feel whatever it is that you're supposed to be feeling, which leads us to our second instruction.

2. Vent your emotions, healthily. Whether you are a writer, reader, talker, musician, dancer, athlete, etc., all of these things are healthy ways to handle emotion. Personally, I write, sing, play piano, uke, guitar, drums, whatever is closest to me (it helps that I play several instruments, #softflex). Take up a new hobby, take a boxing class, beat the ever-loving shit out of something (inanimate). Just feel and let that feeling escape you. It helps, seriously.

3. Listen to really sad music. I don't have any idea what causes it, but there's probably some deeper psychological meaning behind the fact that sad music just makes the heart able to feel and begin to repair itself. To suggest a couple stellar albums that have helped me immensely during breakups: Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie and For Emma, Forever Ago by Bon Iver. Both albums are devastating in both beauty and sadness and will rip your insides out from start to finish. But don't worry though, that's what you're hoping to achieve.

4. DO NOT, under any circumstance, defame the other person's character. Remember, even if they were the shittiest person you've ever dated and did nothing but tear YOU down, you're the one who dated them. At one point, you cared enough about them to notice the character flaws about them, small or large. In the end, tearing the other person down makes you look like the shittier person. It's better to move along as the seemingly uncaring person because that will hurt their pride much more than ceaselessly bashing their existence. This is how to handle a breakup with class, after all, and not how to be that jackass who is caught up on saying things about their ex.

5. If that person begins talking to another person, don't bash them either. You don't have to be happy for the other person, because let's face it, that would be moronic. No one is happy to see their ex being with someone else, especially if you're the one who got dumped. Nevertheless, bashing the new guy/girl openly won't do much else but make you seem bitter. Notice my use of the word openly, as I meant to place it there. Behind closed doors, with friends, in private conversations, go bat shit crazy. To be honest, it releases a lot of negative energy and just feels good. If what you say about new guy/girl is correct, your ex is going to realize that sooner or later and that will be much more satisfying without looking like the bitter asshole.

6. Be honest with yourself when asking whether or not a friendship after a dating relationship is a good idea. Sometimes people are just better off as friends and that's totally cool. Other times, that just isn't the case at all. Inevitably, that decision is up to you and you alone and I have no advice as far as that goes.

7. Make a list of what you have to offer. Whether mentally noting things or physically writing them with pen and paper, this step is important. It is especially important if you were the one being broken up with. The ego boost feels good and positive energy is necessary. Keep focus on the fact that you are a good person, unless you're just not. But odds are you're not that bad of a person, so make a list of things you like about yourself and think of it as a statement of what the other person is losing. If you believe you're a catch, odds are that someone else will too.

These instructions aren't in any specific order. Some of them are super cheesy and lame, but trust me they all help. Breakups suck, but it's a lot easier when you keep moving forward and don't let yourself mope or feel too sorry. After all, experience is the most important part of life. 

P.s. I'll be posting another personal piece I wrote a few months back fairly soon after this gets posted. I love all the positive feedback. You guys are great.

My first really personal piece. Be gentle.

Carve me into your limestone eyes
Perforate my soul; flow through me
You are a fickle sickness, immersed in inconsistency

Carry me through your hazel Sundays
When the greys of our town
Are streaked across the shadows in your gaze

Color my heart with sienna soil
Where your loving roots have made their home,
And bore fruitfully as you've watered my humanity

Cover me under your apricot skin
Filling every inch of your existence
With consideration and care beyond measure

Carve me into your limestone eyes
Knowing that they have drilled into me,
Further with every glance

Life Lately

Lately, a lot of things have crossed my mind. I've put a lot more energy and time into considering things that interest me and that are truly important. In doing this, I've deleted the twitter app from my phone, gotten coffee with old friends, began new relationships, ended those relationships, started new ones, etc.


A lesson I've learned is simply that everything changes. Days get shorter, nights get longer; seasons change; people enter and leave your life. Yet, all of it has a great universal purpose and I believe that firmly. I refuse to let the idea pass that, "some things just happen." Every person who has ever come into your life has had an effect on you, whether massive or minute.

Another lesson I've become very familiar with is that time is a very finite thing. One day, we're all going to wake up and it will be May 24, 2014 and it will be the end of a four year chapter in all of our lives. Personally, I had an amazing high school experience and it was filled with very good people who taught me a great deal about myself as well as the world. I am very excited to have experiences outside of high school and begin a new chapter of my life.

I've spent a lot of time doing personal writing in the form of poetry, the beginning works of a novel, and other outlets recently, as well. I'll post some of that here soon.

"When I was seventeen, my mother said to me, 'don't stop imagining: the day that you do is the day that you die'" - Youth Lagoon, 17, The Year of Hibernation

P.s. The album quoted above is phenomenal and I recommend it exuberantly.